It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
