Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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