I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
