i think my mom watched the whole time
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
