everyone is single if you try hard enough
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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