fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
