I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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