worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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