oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
