so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
