Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
