i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
