Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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