U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You are a genius and a whore.
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