Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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