jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
