Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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