Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping

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(915): View more from Texas

and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.

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(647): View more from Ontario

Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm down.

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