Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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