i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot