Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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