They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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