she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
