I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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