Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
