oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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