And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Liz is crying about burritos again.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Randomize
