did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
