Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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