please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
