another moral hangover. fuck.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
The uberlube is also flammable
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
