the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
