Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
