My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's blow job season.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
