Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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