okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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