Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
