My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
