hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The best revenge is premature balding
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
