I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
