Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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