Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
