well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
