I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
please don't ironically join a cult
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