bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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