Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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