its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My brain says no but my pants say off.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
