Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
