no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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