Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
ok first of all what the fuck
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
