wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i think im in europe. pls send help
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