that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
