R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
