she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
