I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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