dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
