my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Farmville is her only friend.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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