Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
