I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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